Starting job soon

Yeah cant believe Im that lucky enough to get a job so soon... hope this is permanent not temporary luck... anyway met my partners and manager 2dae... all quite nice tts the 1st impression ha... my manager he's a shuai ge... heez... v busy person and soft spoken too... ha... hope this motivate me to work cos the work can be very sianz... heh... lalaala life is like that... I need motivation.... esp shuai ge hahahaha..... cos I know I can never fall in lOve...blah blah blah...

I give up ! Hopeless!

Wooh... what a day for me.... my student actually told me she failed all her subjects except Chinese... which is only merely passed... She's very clever in talking but y she dun apply to her studies? Imagine she said stop pressing her to study and doing hmwork! Hey I good enough to sacrifice my time to do revision with her during her exams period... and mY EXAM PERIOD too... Im just a tutor... k and she can say such things... Never seen a girl like this before and she's only Primary 5... Even her grandma cant stand her and wanted to send her off to her paternal granny's house... I alwaez thought that nobody is hopeless... so I enjoy teaching tuition... well... now I met a real NOBODY who is hopeless....

for the past whole year, I'd been emphasizing that she must continue to work hard and she promised to do so... and now what happen? worse to worst! I really give up hope on her... no matter how i cultivate the right and positive studying attitude she simply ignored... now I understand how stress a school teacher can be teaching a whole class of about 40 students. I really feel that I'm a failure in teaching this girl... while my another student is so much difference from her.. the other girl is so good that I really can kow tow to her... cos even she's from China she's so much hardworking than this lazy girl.

I really dunno what to do but thinking to declined her granny's 'employment' of being a tutor. I should do this much earlier... but that fateful day... the girl told me that her grandma is suffering from slight mental depression and beiong kind.. I did not want to add burden to her grandma. So I decided to teach this girl hoping she will really work hard.... ha... useless... no matter how patient I am and how sacrificed I am... she doesn't appreciate it! Imagine the day before my major exams I have to go all the way to her house, bear with her temper, hoping she will quietly listen to my lecture and do her work as i told her to... NO.... she keep yakking away till I finally blow up my temper and she quietened... few minutes later started her chit chatting skills again.

Feel so stress teaching her and my granny was so worried about my health... cos I alwaez told her my blood pressure sure go high up... and she urged me not to teach that girl again. She said no point teaching a student who doesn't help herself... well I told my student before... "God will only help those who help themselves..." this simply becomes a silent phrase to her... I dunno why??? People keep taking advantage of me and take for granted...

Thats why I had decided to give up on this girl... the more I give in... guess she'll suffer... well perhaps she dont care at all... I had made all sacrifices and thats all I can give.. NO more.... and sayonara~

End of exams yeah...

Exams soon be over... woo hoo.... so happy... lalalalalala.... but the worse may be coming soon too... THE RESULTS... rah... cant be bothered liao... lemme enjoy the holidays 1st heez....

Cry~

I wanted to cry out loudly... but i now holding back... I feel so stressed these few days... exams so near.. students so bad... family put stress on me... dont understand me... I feel so weak... feel that my whole body is going to collapse... feel lyk fainting in any moment of time... signs of stress... dun feel lyk talking, eating, laughing.... signs of depression.

I dont want to... but these are all happening to me... I feel lyk dying... I kept telling myself to overcome it... but its all adding up... the tension that Im coping... is pressing me so hard that i almost died...

I must be strong... in order to achieve what I want... degree, money,career, future.... I must be STRONG!

I'm totally stressed!

I'm really stressed! Don't feel lyk talking.... and keep forgetting things... i.e bringing HP out... and was lyk losing touch with the world without a hp with me... if not of the monetary means... I'll stop tuition and concentrate on my exams.... if and only if... I hope God will reward me for being so kind that people would want to take advantage of my kindness without appreciating it... PLEASE! I JUST WANT MY FIRST CLASS HONOURS!!! If I'm not that good enough how about SECOND UPPER CLASS HONOURS?!