::Exams phobia::

Exams coming.... 2 more weeks to my first paper which falls on Friday the 13th!!! What a fateful day! Well no worries....

today attended the last Marketing lecture... and this lecturer Ms.Patricia Chia is kind of scaring all of us.... that the exam will be very difficult.... I feel stressed by her words..... not as petrified as the words from Mr. Nageb "3rd class honours get 3rd class job"


I gotta work even harder... 1 more year to go and soon I'll be graduating.... earn lotsa money... and live to my dreams~ Yeah!

::Hardworking fellow::

Ha... went to school 2dae for self revision as promised to myself. Feels so hardworking today! Managed to solve a few AF questions... hmmm... nice air con... good concentration! At least I won't hear those nagging at home and the heat that surrounds me entirely~

And yes... I wanna to slim down!!! I guess it will be perfect if I really slim down.... but I can't resist the temptation of FOOD! Well.. perhaps it's all fated....

Fated for me to fail in the SUPERSTAR competition due to not that I have an irritating voice or I can't sing at all but size.....

Fated for me to quit tuitioning and now stooped to no income status and so cannot spend....

No money means cannot eat too much

Cannot eat too much means that I can SLIM down....

Hahaha.... yup yup yup... it's all fated! (Am I consoling myself or wat?) I feel so miserable and sorry about myself! Y I should lead this kind of life.......?????


Yup perhaps Vivian is right....

if U have $10 live a $10 life....

if U have $100 live a $100 life....

if U have $1000 live a $1000 life....

if U have $10000 live a $10000 life....

Yes.... this is what I should do....

Conquer all difficulties and live happily (am I deceiving myself? boohoo...)

::Evaluation+Reflection::

Evaluation+Reflection as a contestant of Project Superstar

After thinking for one whole day after the audition... I came up with the evaluation and my reflection.

Evaluation:

1. When you are asked to fill in the reason why you want to join in the competition, you have to write with strong words to impress the judges. They WILL READ it before you stepped into the audition room. And you gotta be firm of what you want... that's what I learnt a lesson from this compeition.
2. Experience is very important! If you have enter any competition whether in schools or entertainment industry... have to list down! For me... too sad NO...except in Primary school which I don't think I need to put it down.
3. Talents! Don't bluff your way through... cos they will bombard you with questions. Luckily I'm honest enough and just put Singing.
4. There are also fields on the application form indicating whether you have attended any music schools before. This is the part which I think it's quite unfair!!! Some of the judges have their own music schools and of cos their students will join right? Although it can be refuted that they don't judge their own students, when the other judges see where you from of cos they will give chance or give face to the instructor right?
5. Photos!!! The photos must really look like you! If you give those makeover photos which is great difference from the REaL you... ha... that's it! They will bombard you against your looks. For me, lucky not much difference.
6. I guess $ is a very important factor for those Superstar-wannabes. Gotta invest alot... ranging from hairstyle, clothes, accessories, shoes, makeup and transport etc. You may be thinking why transport? From my experience... it's really far to walk into Mediacorp Reception from the bus stop... and by the time you reached your makeup and attire will be in great mess! So take a cab instead...that's what I did.
7. In front of the judges, you must look confident and stop your nervous actions! Answer their questions in a very appropriate way!
8. Song! Yup... don't choose those too old or too new songs! or rather common songs.... I guess that's my mistake of choosing Fish Leong's Yong Qi. That's why got a comment of not enough preparation! Not really a slow song but a song which can gives you Wu Tai Mei Li! yaya now I know!
9. Ha... size matters... wear something that can cover your flaws.
10. Lastly, be mentally prepared of the cameras and videocams.

That's my evaluation!

Now my reflection!

1. Must reduce in size... Well I thought it's a singing contest afterall.
2. Don't do things in impluse. Follow your intuition.
3. Learn from experience.
4. Believe in yourself.
5. You can be Superstar in your own circle. It's Mediacorp's loss of not choosing you.

Alright that's about it. Now let me have peace in studying my exams.

::Not A Superstar::

Sad to say~

I'm not into the 2nd round of the competition...


Yeah... it's a bit sad lah... cos it's not my singing that lost in the contest but looks~
erm.... or not looks.... it's size!


My judges are 2 unknown women whom I guess they were from MediaCorp and the 3rd judge is Peter Chen from music clinic...


Well everything goes quite smoothly during the audition... UNTIL....



1 of the women asked me "what qualities do you think can be a SUPERSTAR?"
So, I said 1 must love singing, have talents, must work very hard and have stage charm (wu tai mei li)
So, she asked me whether I think I have... well at this point I guessed she's thinking I don't have and that's 1 of the criteria or rather what they have in mind to determine if u r able to go into the next round. And so of cos I have to say I have.

As for Peter Chen... his 1st question for me is "R u Singaporean?"

I dunno why everyone must ask me this question.... do I look like I'm not localised?

He said my singing is not bad just that can see my preparation is not enough... which I don't know what he means??? Then he took a look at my photos which attached with my application form then he said " u have nice features....U look gd"
I guess what he said about my preparation is that he was reading the part Y i want to join in this competition which stated in the application form. Haiz...... haiz.....

Uh hum... at this time... the another woman continued..."U are still young, you still have many chances... so hope next year you'll come back to join again but you have to eat lesser..."

OMG!!! so this is not a singing competition!!! this is a beauty pageant!!! Yes... I feel awful!
I hope they won't put me on TV and have nasty comments on the screen.... CROSS MY FINGERS

So as i came out of the room to take m bag.. the camera is right in front of me.... WHAT CAN I DO? Say "oh they say me round so don't let me in?"
I just smiled and say"shi BAi" and just quickly went away... haiz....
OKOK I'll make them regret of their decision! (perhaps yesterday I really lack of luck) It's quite impossible to have a 2nd Olinda...(hey I'm more slimmer than her)

Well... although I may failed in this competition... this makes me realised a lot of things.... Looks does matters.... and I guess the judges roughly have an idea of what they want as a superstar... and of cos my preparation... ya... I admit I really have no preparation about this cos exams coming so stress.... and no time to get really prepared... well no $ also how to invest???

And most importantly... they look into appearance.... what if U have been bestowed a heavenly voice??? Learnt a lesson!!!! well its quite fun... at least now I know how they select people and gain experience in joining the contest... which makes me feel more confident of myself

Ok if size is really the case... I'll try very hard to slim down.... and see what they going to say... perhaps join again.... and if the media ask... I shall say... Yup I'm back again to show the judges that their eyes have been blinded by beauty. Frankly speaking, those who got in... really all slim slim... not really pretty...all ah lians....(to match with Sly's beng look?) Ha... but what to do? they got in!

::SUPER ANGRY::

ANGRY!!!

Yes! I'm angry!


I guess I'm those who will keep things to myself... and secrets too! Not only secrets... like my achievements... I don't really go around telling people how GOOD am I nor boast what I had got!!! (except my blog... ha) AND I DON'T LIKE PEOPLE SAYING I'M STUPID! NO ONE COULD SAY THAT TO ME! EVEN MY TEACHERS (from primary school till now)... none said I'm stupid! In fact!!! I'm clever! Which I didn't tell my parents that I had got a compliment from my teachers~~~



Alright... lemme cool down abit...


I guess when one getting old... he or she will get a bit senile... (or hormones changing???) nowadays, my granny likes to scold me for nothing... and of course being a good and filial grand-daughter, I did not refute! Sometimes she will scold me stupid when I do things in my own way, or say something like "Study till so high level also can't compared to one who did not do much studying..."------> I'm really MAD at her words!!!


Sometimes I really wonder??? really wonder??? and wondering very hard??? What's the purpose of studying for an HONOURS DEGREE??? And got such accusation.... I'm really angry but could not refute... and have to swallow my anger and sadness...

Yes SADNESS! I feel sad ... because I don't know why??? I'm a person who don't really express my feelings out~ so what can I say???


TODAY... when I came home from my shopping trip, the first thing I got is not "hey U r back!" nor "how's ur day?"



BUT



"hey your cousin passed his driving test! and only in his 1st try"


I mean what's that going to do with me? and I replied NONCHALANTLY "SO?"

"so clever lor... only 1st try den pass"

"So?"

No reply....


I mean... is it my problem??? I gotta admit I have NO MONEY! I'm just a poor undergrad with no income and everything have to depend on myself.... (FYI: I did not even take any pocket money from my parents) and so what if I had already passed my basic theory with only 1 try? and I did not go around telling people I HAD PASSED MY BASIC THEORY WITH ONLY ONE TRY!!! Cos I have no $ I did not go to take advance theory neither the driving test!

And I wonder.... if i really have the $ and passed the test with only a try... what will be the reaction of the others??? (At this point of time... my tears ... haiz...)

Yes... I told my dad... who is also one of those who told me about my cousin's 'excitment'... that what's so great about that??? And my dad told me... U can also go and tell others after I graduated and got my honours degree.... so I told him in a sarcastic way..."Yah... and hang my degree in the living room and plated it gold and framed it with gold too right???"

I'm not such a person!!!


Everything pays~ that's what I think... hopefully I got through the audition on this Sat and into the final 32... and of course gotta aim to get into the top 10 or whatsoever~ Lemme guess~


1.People will start calling you GODDESS and pray at your feet!
2.Those who calling you bad names at your back will present expensive tonics to you!
3.Those who look down on you will look at you as if U r shinning like a precious diamond or gem!
4.Those who now need your help will beg you till U say U will consider to help them to get into the entertainment circle!
5.Those who say you STUPID will praise you till U taste like HONEY!



Enough of those hypocritical acts!

I won't fall on them! I am still ME even I am a SUPERSTAR!

::Deciding the song::

MY DECISION IS FINAL

Counting down to the audition...




7 DAYS!!!



I hafen got the costume, the hairdo, and the SONG!!!



Am I taking it too seriously or too easily???



I really don't know!!!



I did not let anyone know about this audition except Xinhui...

BUT if~~~


I really get into the semi finals~ I will let the whole world to know as to celebrate this joyous occasion!!! ( quoted from Mr. Nageb my previous IBM lecturer)


So...





MY DECISION IS FINAL! I GOTTA SING THIS SONG TO MATCH WITH MY FEELINGS TO THE AUDITION....


YONG QI= COURAGE



This is to all of the judges... I really picked up my courage ( which is so unbelievable) to join in this competition... hopefully I can make it!



Can I be a SUPERSTAR??? --------------> is my QUESTION!




I just want to be ME and have a job of my interest!

::Half dreaming about SUPERSTAR::

::Half dreaming about SUPERSTAR::

I was just browsing through the Mediacorp webby and saw some clips of the contestants and the interviews of Quan Yi feng. Hmm from the clips of contestants I only find 1 really strong opponent whom they said she looks like Joanne Peh and she sang Penny's song... she's real gd! As for the model-lookalike girl who queued in front of me... she was said to look like Xu Huai Yu and she sang Yan lei... erm quite common lor... nothing special about her singing... as for the guys... I saw Steven Lim's clip OMG ask him to go home and sleep lah... REALLY CANNOT MAKE IT LOR.... provided he's already OLD! 29 years old le... duhz....

About Quan's interview... I found a few points that I should follow...
1. Must have the confidence
2. Aim to step out of Singapore and going international
3. Not afraid of Camera!!! Hahaha

Yup I shall take down these points and crave out my desired career~

::Mediacorp coming to SIM::

Oh was browsing through my portal and hell knows... I saw MEDIACORP coming to school on the 19th April???!!!! So I clicked on it hoping to see that perhaps some of the stars are coming so I'll get ready my camera... hahaha... Uh hum~ NO! It's the Superstar Recruitment... Duhz... I din noe that they will come all the way here to promote... I guess there isn't much response that's why~ Haha.. what shall I do??? I'd joined... Should I go down again and see how it goes before I decide to go for the audition? Yup... and the song... duhz... I'm very scared that the song don't suit the judges' taste leh... or maybe they haven even heard of that song??? HOW???

Dear blog readers.... please give me some advice.... thanks!

::Registration extended::

Duhz... the registration for Project Superstar has been extended 1 more day!!! If I know, I won't go so early... and worrying that I will be on TV... rah....

Well watching yesterday's news, it seems that the organiser had been exaggerated that this competition will attract at least 5000 to 6000 people... and who knows there's only 1000 + people turned up at yesterday's registration. Hmmm I shall look forward to the audition.

I did not really blog for yesterday's entry cos' I'm really shocked and ... about what on earth I have this courage to join such major competition in my whole entire life.... it's really surprising! I did not tell anyone except Xinhui who accompany me there and those who are reading my blog~ I guess if I really make it, all people who knows me will get a serious shock of their life man! (including my family) haha... anyway I just to experience how the competition was like and to have fun! I'm no longer teens... in fact a young adult! Arrgg... yup and so I should have my own life and to decide what I want in life... duhz... Im supposed to be independent yeah?! Alright I just it a try... who knows I may be the next SUPERSTAR!

Talking about yesterday's registration... guess who's in the 1st of the Queue???

Guess...

Quick guess....








Da tang~~

It's that horrible creature! Steven Lim. (the one who dressed up as Troy in Singapore Idol and strip tease at Top Fun who made Fann Wong cried and Mark Lee super angry) I bursted laughing when I saw him and giggled all the way to the registration booth! I'm really pei fu him for having such thick skin and thinking of his age I think he should do something more mature. Haiz... he'll be on the hot topic again...

Actually I may seem to be happy-go-lucky but in fact Im really nervous about the upcoming audition and hoping to get into the finals... ha... if only looks doesn't matter. ( I also don't look really ugly mah... humphf) I still couldn't believe that I have the courage to join in. (unbelievable state) Now I'm having trouble to choose what song is sing...

::Registration::

Boo Hoo alot of contestants very pro~ what am I going to do? The audition is on 23/4/2005 Ahhhh..... JIU MING AH!!! HOW???

::Overly Excited::

Hey hey hey.... I guess I really went crazy about this upcoming audition thingy!!! Yes CRAZY!



WHAT SONG TO SING?! IM VERY NERVOUS AND EXCITED!!!
ANY COMMENTS??? PLEASE!!!

::It's a Beautiful Sunday::

It's a Beautiful Sunday!

Heh.. my zits are all gone! (cross my fingers that they will never never some back again!) haha~ anyway, yesterday went to Suntec to see the contact lenses roadshow (duhz... spend $ again! And I'm quite broke now!) While we are having our lunch at a mini-foodcourt there, there's a middle-aged lady who was sharing the same table as us. At first I find her quite friendly ... so since she talked to us then I 'entertained' her lor! (that's what I do normally) The thing is... Kaili kept quiet and continued her eating... and who knows that lady suddenly blurted out to me that "Hey your friend don't like to talk to others ar?" Kaili kept quiet. So I sort of get rid the embarrassment atmosphere which started to form.... "Urm she's like that... her character lah"

And who the hell knows that the lady went on..." So selfish! " turning to face Kaili "You are a selfish person... we are all human beings right? should help each other and share what we know..." (well, I can vividly remember she said something like that ...)

From that moment, I'm in fiery!!! Yes... I mean who on earth is she to say something so hurtful to a stranger... we barely known for even 5 minutes! So I just kept quiet. I knew the lady is really outspoken and english educated as she talked about her job with the US company and the countries and conferences she had been to and of course her 'clever' daughter whom she said scored all As in the A levels and going to England to study journalism.

So I guess Kaili is really embarrassed by the lady... and the lady went on and on rattling about behaviour and what we gonna do in the future...which i think it's none of her concern!!! It's my turn to keep quiet and had a cold smile on my face. So having no choice, Kaili had to face her questions then. At times, I guess that lady had detected my coldness... and she apologised for talking(or rather kpo-ing) too much. The most most most statement that she made which makes my blood boils is that "I'm sure you all have creativity and brains right? so you all have to think what to do in the future!" Hey hey hey.... it's none of her business also lor....

Alright, at last Kaili suddenly said let's go~ and I'm filled with anger and discontentment... I stomped off.

May I be petty or what... I guess I should at least curse that lady a bit... she's damn RUDE!
So what on earth she commented that Kaili is selfish? Should get the lady a mirror before she went on blabbering about her wisdom and knowledge! Bleah~ I regretted not to rebut her at the very beginning... humph!

Bleah... I shan't make myself angry again as I've an appointment later... heh~ woohoo~

Update: 1/4/2005
April Fool
Haha managed to fool a friend by a simple sms muahahahaha....